Food is my Anti-Depressant and that Needs to Change.

Due to some overspending last month, I found myself in a little bit of a financial hole.  This  lack of control meant that some items would need to be postponed until my photo profits were deposited into my account.  One of the items I put off was my anti-depressant.  I have been taking this medicine for about 2 and a half years.  I have gone off of the medication several times (thinking I was "healed") only to find that I relapsed even worse.

I ran out of my prescription in early October and as much as I tried to stay upbeat, the darkness soon enveloped me.  This cloud, coupled with my whooping cough, meant I was spending entire weekends in bed, sleeping.  Not because I was tired, but because I just couldn't function.  There were a few days where I managed to get myself out into the real world, but those were driven by the idea of shopping (another addiction).  Over the past 30 days, I have eaten tons of crap food, mostly processed carbs and refined sugar.  This would result in a momentary elevation of my mood, only to have it crash around me a few hours later.

As soon as I saw the profit check hit my account, I refilled my anti-depressant.  For the $15 co-pay, I should have definitely refilled it sooner, but I seem to have my priorities a little messed up lately.  Mental health is important and should not be treated as an afterthought.  My lack of motivation is directly tied to how I felt about myself.  I didn't have the anti-depressant so in turn I ate junk food, which in turn made me depressed about my weight gain.  This was a never ending cycle that I found was easily fixed.  I won't make that mistake again. 

The weather here is going to be awesome all week, so I think I will take some nice long walks with the boys to help clear the cobwebs from my mind.  Need to set some more goals as well, but as my therapist says..."baby steps...baby steps."